


The Lame Flirt (SeborgaxReader)

by HiddenHostages



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Flirting, One Shot, Other, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6127237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenHostages/pseuds/HiddenHostages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: Excessive use of bad pick-up lines and cussing due to extreme frustration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lame Flirt (SeborgaxReader)

(Y/N) sat on the couch, crossing their arms in annoyance due to the man sitting beside her. It wasn't like he was harassing them or anything, but he was just acting really childish and rather forward about it. 

It's been how long now? Just how long had this been going on? All (Y/N) wanted to do was have fun with several acquaintances and a few friends at a party they had been invited to. The least possible thing they ever wanted to happen to them was somebody trying to flirt with them. And this was yet the most terrible flirt, so God help them.

"Did you just come out of the oven? Because you're hot." He winked at them in a 'sexy'(lol) manner. (Y/N) instantly threw back their head and loudly groaned in distress. Just how did they caught up in this mess?

"No, I did not come out of the oven," they answered, even though it was a rhetorical question. 

"Say, would you like to feel my shirt?"

"No."

"Guess what it's made out of."

"What?"

"Boyfriend material." (Y/N) heavily inhaled and drove their hands up to massage their face, which was beginning to ache from making all the displeased expressions since the past twenty minutes. Then sighed a long breath of stress as their chest eased back into place. 

"Hey, are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you." (Y/N) rolled their eyes once more. This man was driving them crazy! When he had first come up to them, (Y/N) had to admit, he was pretty cute and they were rather excited to hear what he had to say at first, but holy crap, his pick-up lines were just so goddamn terrible and cheesy. And to top it all off, all of this had began with, 'Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I just walk by again?'

"Hey, I was looking at your shirt and began wondering..." He began. (Y/N) looked down on their (f/c) t-shirt in panic. It had owls on it. Just what could this possibly lead to-

"Would it be owlright if you became my sowlmate?" That cheeky grin never left his face since he first spoke to them and (Y/N) wanted to tear it off of him so badly, in hopes it would be the greatest pain he would ever have to go through. But they had already reached to a much more further point of rage where they just- dealt with it and stopped caring. Acceptance. However, it couldn't prevent the expression of disgust creeping up on their face.

"So...aside from being sexy all the time, what do you do for living?" He asked. (Y/N) was taken aback a bit. Was he finally taking their interests and this conversation in his consideration?

"Um...well, I guess I-" 

"If you were words on a book, you'd be fine print." Wow. Okay, rude. (Y/N) was extremely pissed off right now. Not only does this man keep using dumb pick-up lines on them, but he interrupted them mid-sentence as they finally thought he was trying to be nice for once.

"Can you give me your name and phone number?" He asked. (Y/N) squinted their eyes at him, observing him closely.

"Why?" 

"For insurance reasons." (Y/N) furrowed their eyebrows and wrinkled their nose in confusion.

"What? Why should I-"

"Because I've been blinded by your beauty~!" (Y/N) could've sworn they just saw radiating sparkles floating about around him as he dramatically declared that. They uneasily puffed out air and turned their head away, batting their gaze to him occasionally. What could be the greatest harm in giving him their name? Though, they were reluctant about it at first. 

"...It's...(Y/N). How about you..?" The man smiled some more, it seemed to be truly genuine this time, rather than just the normal, friendly one. His green, energetic eyes twinkled with joy as his curl hanging at the side of his auburn head bounced with excitement. 

"I'm Seborga!" He introduced at last, then winked and stuck out his tongue in a playful manner. "But you can call me...Anytime~~" 

(Y/N) silently glared at him and raised an arm, about to smack him until he swiftly brought up his hand and stopped them by cheerfully grabbing their wrist in defense. Their arms trembled with opposing strength for a full minute, but it didn't seem like Seborga was really trying though. Knowing that this won't go any further like this, (Y/N) sighed and admittedly gave up, pulling away. He continued to watch her with loving eyes. 

"So (Y/N)...what did you think of my pick-up lines?" He asked. 

"They're so goddamn awful."

Seborga pouted. "Really? To be honest with you, I'm usually a very successful flirt." (Y/N) gave him a dull and careless look. 

"Oh, well, I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me that now," they made a sarcastic remark. 

"I just want to take a different approach this time, but I guess it didn't work."

"How long are you going to keep on talking?" 

"I'll be talking all night if you're willing to listen."

"Okay, then I'll just ignore you," (Y/N) lastly said and whipped out their phone from their pockets. They clicked on an app and typed something in it, beginning to focus on their phone instead. 

"Hey (Y/N). You can fall off of a tree and fall out of a building..."

No response.

"But the best way to fall is to fall down with me."

".......What..? Don't you mean-"

"Imessedup. What I mean is- the best way to fall is to-"

"Fall in love with me. Yeah, I already know that one. Now let me tell you one. Let's say, if you were a vegetable, you'd definitely be a cutecumber." 

Seborga gawked at them, greatly dumbfounded. "Wha..?" 

"Ah, here's another one. Your legs must be tired because you've been running on my mind all night." Seborga furrowed his brows and puffed out his cheeks, leaning over (Y/N) to peek at their phone.

"You're reading it off of this, aren't you?" He accused. (Y/N) clearly couldn't deny it and had to stifle a giggle. 

"Maybe?" 

"No fair! I had to memorize all my lines!" 

"So? Hey, did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast-"

"Stooop~!" Seborga whined and stretched out his arm to snatch their phone away, but (Y/N) already moved their hand to the other far side where he couldn't reach. 

"Because you look magically delicious!" He rested one arm behind their head and pressed his chest against theirs as they pushed forward to grasp that phone of theirs. (Y/N) held it close enough to read it from behind and continued on. 

"Uh, there's something wrong with my phone."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't have your number on it." 

Seborga pouted and struggled some more, practically pushing them down with his body. "Why are you doing this to meee?" 

"Duh, because you started it first," (Y/N) contradicted, teasingly poking him once on the nose with their free hand. However, when they did that, only then did they both realize how close they were to each other. (Y/N) looked down and saw that Seborga was literally resting his chin on their collarbone as his grassy orbs stared back up at them. 

"What?" He said, his warm breath making contact against the skin of their neck, before parting an inch away. (Y/N) also then realized that they were trapped between his arms as he moved away. They turned off their phone and averted their gaze, trying to hide their blush. 

"Nothing." 

"You're really unique person, (Y/N). A really pretty and beautiful one too."

"So?"

"Also, did I forget to tell you that your name really suits you? Your personality is super fun and nice."

(Y/N) gave him a weird look. "I don't know where you got the 'nice' part from, but what's with all the direct compliments all of a sudden?"

Seborga shrugged. "I don't need a reason, do I? Besides," he looked away. "I feel comfortable saying that to you." He casually ruffled his light auburn hair. (Y/N) glanced at him one more time before turning on their phone. He immediately caught on.

"Hey, I thought you weren't g-"

"I never said anything like that." This time, Seborga could only watch as (Y/N) scrolled through their phone, as if searching for a specific pick-up line to use. They easily took their time and when they found a usable one, they looked up again. 

"Hey, Seborga. Do you like raisins?" 

"Maybe, why?"

"Then how would you like a date?" Seborga's curl instantly perked up and his eyes widened with surprise.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?" He questioned one last time, hope ringing in the tone of his voice. (Y/N) rolled their eyes and faced the wall in front of them. 

"Then I wouldn't be asking, but if you don't want to, th-" 

"I do! I do! Where? When?" He was way too excited for this than (Y/N) had predicted, but they managed to cope with it anyways. 

"I'm still thinking about that..."

"Then let's discuss it together! I'm an expert at choosing places for dates!" Seborga slowly picked up (Y/N)'s left hand with his own and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on their knuckles. He gently smiled against their fingers and moved his gaze up to find (Y/N) gawking down at him with a rather flustered expression. In response, he winked one last time at them. 

~Extended Ending~

"What were those two doing? They've been all over each other just a minute ago," Romano asked his younger brother, gesturing at Seborga and (Y/N) sitting on the couch together. 

Veneziano shrugged. "I don't know, but I heard them using terrible pick-up lines earlier."

Romano scowled. "I'll never be able to understand how Seborga is more successful than us when it comes to flirting."


End file.
